Saturday, December 3, 2011

First Post: About Us

Welcome, one and everyone!

Some of you may know me from various venues, some may not. For my readers who do know me, please try to respect our bit of anonymity; this blog is primarily about children who will grow up and who probably would like to distance themselves from the internet-is-forever ravings of their loony mom.

Here's the scoop:

Me: I'm the mom! I'm 31, have red hair, hate the beach, and love my family. I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome in December of 2010 at the ripe old age of 30. Following an all-too-typical path, I was a quirky kid whose quirks were chalked up to being "gifted." Yeah, I'm bright, but I ain't that bright. As an adolescent, things like ADD/ADHD were tossed about. In my very early 20s, bipolar II, cyclothymia, and/or general anxiety were the phrases professionals used, all while scratching their heads and saying, "You don't *actually* fit the DSM, but there's something going on with you so we have to call it *something.*" In the second half of my second decade, it became more and more clear that I wasn't any of those things. I was, and am, and will be, autistic.

Do I use "autism" to mean "all Autism Spectrum Disorders, including autism disorder, PDD-NOS, Asperger's, Rhett's, and CDD?" Yes, I do.
Do I consider myself to be an aspie or an autie? Both- they're interchangeable to me.
Am I high-functioning? You betchya!
Do I have issues with the term "high-functioning?" Yes I sure do.
Can I live on my own for more than a month without becoming homeless? Newp.
Can I love? Yep.
Do I have empathy? Sure, though it may look different from what you expect.
Am I a good wife? Not so much, no. My husband says otherwise, but what does he know?
Am I a good mom? I think so, so far.
Can I build robots? Almost!

Mr. Dad: He's the dad! He's 30. We've been married for, well, take V's age and add 9 months and 2 weeks. So what? Who cares, it's the 90s. I don't know if he likes the beach because I've never asked him. He loves his family. He's not autistic. He's a big ole nerd, though, and, if I had to pigeonhole him, I'd say he has an Asperger's-type personality. So, like, if autism is a spectrum, with 0 being totally neurotypical (this is a word that means "normal," or "not autistic," or "regular person who doesn't have neurologically-based differences in experiencing the world, connecting with people, and/or behaviors.") and 10 being the kind of super-duper-severe classic Kanner's autism that terrifies parents everywhere, he's a 1. He's awesome and I love him to the best of my ability. We're also in the early process of divorce. It's okay, though.

Moonbeam: Moonbeam is *my* first-born. I got pregnant at 16, made an adoption plan, and gave birth to her at 17. It's a very open adoption, and from my perspective, it's been totally awesome. I have only positive emotions and things to say about my experience, as it was the right thing to do for both of us, so why would I mourn it? It's difficult for me to relate to most birthmothers, and vice versa, as I don't have any lingering regrets or sorrow about it. Moonbeam seems to have the same feelings about it that I do, which is not surprising, as she's quite similar to me. While she's not NT (neurotypical), she's also not technically on the spectrum. I don't feel comfortable saying any more about it than that, as her life and privacy are exactly that- hers. And she's amazing.

Sunshine: Sunshine is *our* first-born. She was born quickly, easily, and without complication in 12/09, after an uneventful pregnancy. She's awesome. Seriously. This kid, man. This kid. This blog is largely about her. She's beautiful, so so so smart, funny, brave, adventuresome, and clever. She also has something going on. As of this writing, we don't know what it is. Mr. Husband and I strongly suspect that she is autistic, and that realization, after almost 2 years of wondering, seeing little tiny delicate red flags, was our first step on a journey that will last for a long, long time. I really cannot convey how incredible this child is, and how lucky I feel every day for getting the chance to be her mom.

Snowflake: Snowflake is our second-born. She was born in a quick, easy manner, much like her sister, in 09/11. She is a little baby, and, as such, will likely not be talked about so much, because little babies are pretty boring and there's really not all that much to say about them. I *will* say that's she so alert, strong, engaged, and funny. She does suffer from Second-Child Syndrome in that there are many times fewer pictures of her than of Sunshine, but I think she'll get over it. A is a terrific baby and, at less than 3-months of age, is already head over heels in love with her big sister. Also she likes us grown-ups pretty well, too. And we adore her.



So that's the scoop.

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